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"Pawnographic" Preview


Darkniciad
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This isn't even completely done, ( have to finish the final sex scene and the closer ) let alone edited, but since It's been so long since I've released anything, I thought I'd tease the next story coming out as Les Lumens:  "Pawnographic"
 
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It was another long day at the pawn shop. I thought at least once a day about selling it or getting someone else to run the damn place, but I couldn’t do it. My grandfather had started it, and then my dad kept it going. I couldn’t bring myself to break the chain when he passed away.

Seeing my neighbor shut off his hose and put his hands on his hips when I pulled into the drive at home didn’t brighten my mood any.

“Why don’t you take care of your lawn?” he complained as I climbed out of the car.

I walked to the door and answered, “The grass is three inches tall.”

“I’m tired of having to deal with all your dandelion seeds. You need to dig those things up like any responsible person. The whole neighborhood...”

I closed the door, cutting off the rest of his tirade and muttered, “I’ll dig them up and shove them up your ass.”

Another beautiful day in the neighborhood.

I took a shower, whipped up some grub, and then kicked back to watch some t.v. Same old, same old. I ended up dozing off at some point, and woke up in the middle of Fallon’s monologue. The guy’s better than Leno, but I was raised on Carson. There’s just no comparison.

I shut him off and headed upstairs to bed. The last thing I needed was to sleep all night in the chair and wake up as stiff as a board.

Still half asleep, I stripped down to my boxers, shut off the light, and turned toward the bed. That’s when something moving in my peripheral vision drew my attention to the window.

I stood there in the darkness of my room, hypnotized by the sight of my neighbor’s twenty-year-old blonde daughter. She was right in front of her window with the lights on. The contrast of the darkness surrounding that window focused my attention, as if I needed any help in that.

She lifted her arms over her head, stretched, and yawned. The tight top she was wearing clung to her like a second skin, giving me a hell of a show as her breasts lifted from her stretch. She ran her fingers through her hair before letting her hands drop back to her side.

Her parents made me want to pull my hair out. Cammie made me want to pull something else.

I finally snapped out of it, and the dirty old man shame washed over me. Embarrassed by my behavior, I shook my head and closed my eyes for a second.

The mistake I made was opening them before turning away.

She grabbed the tail of her top just as my eyes opened, and in a flash, she’d pulled it over her head. I had a couple of blissful seconds to drink in the sight of her perky breasts before she tossed her top aside and walked away from the window.

I have no idea how long I stood there with my eyes bugging out and my mouth hanging open. Even after she vanished from sight, I could still see her in my mind’s eye.

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Waffling a bit on assigning this to Les.  It was originally written for this pen name, but the length is a couple thousand words above where I like to set the limit, but I'm starting to question that, since the story is so very much in the RR style.

 

I'll probably begin work on the editing tonight.  I guess I'll make up my mind once that's done :)

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Yep, decided I'm going to break the "rule" for length of an RR story, and keep this assigned to that name.  I've already broken the depth "rule" with Nude Holly Day, so why not break another for the hell of it?

 

I could move this to the RR forum, but screw it.  LOL

 

I'll finish the editing tonight, and then get it off to Roust.  As long as I have it back ( and the cover finished ) by Saturday, I think I'm going to break my usual tradition and put it in the queue on Saturday, hoping for a Monday or Tuesday release.  I usually wait for a Friday, but it's been so long since I released anything that I don't want to delay for another week.

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Story is finalized, and will probably go into the queue tomorrow for Lit, and then in the queue at SOL for a near simultaneous release, as soon as I know the release date at Lit.

 

I can't find a good place to break it into parts under 10k words each for Lush, and a query about fudging over the wordcount barrier came back in the negative, so this one won't be posting there.  That's the drawback to breaking my wordcount "rule" for this one.  It's breaking a far more concrete rule there.

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Granted, it's been up for a couple hours more there, but Pawnographic is sitting with twice as many votes and almost as many downloads as views at Lit.

 

The number of votes this early on isn't all that surprising, but the view to download count?  If Lit doesn't make a dramatic jump within the next couple of hours, that's unprecedented for a story in the Mature category.

 

We'll see what happens when the red H manifests on the main new story page.  I was under the impression that people were migrating away from that page to the hubs, but if it makes a sudden leap then, I may have to revise that theory.  The H has been visible on the hub for quite a while.

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Ever so slowly catching up on votes, but with the red H in all locations, this one is barely 1000 views ahead of SOLs downloads.  Under normal circumstances, I would expect the Lit submission to be tens of thousands ahead by now, with 10 times the votes.

 

I guess I'll see overnight whether this is the difference between the day I normally aim for and posting a day early.  If it jumps mightily overnight -- damn.  I'll be aiming for that Thursday night/Friday morning with as much precision as humanly possible.

 

If it doesn't, I'm going to be damn disappointed in the showing on this one.  I'm used to a bare minimum of 600 votes on a Mature story at Lit and about 60k views.  I haven't broken 100 and 10k yet.

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Still behind SOL on votes, and only up by a couple thousand views.

 

I have to wonder if the extra length is hurting it.  It's probably 4000 words above my average, and even though almost all of that is sexual content, that could be a factor.

 

Guess the next one may help determine that.  I'm working on a MILF tale that's going to clock in at less than half the length of this. If it performs normally, that tells me something.  Either hit my sweet spot, or go long and involved in the Mature category.  Middle of the road may not be a good place to be in the category at Lit.

 

Not getting too down yet, because Lit's "honeymoon" window seems to have stretched out a great deal in the last couple of years.  It's also been months since I posted anything in the category, so I don't have a recent reference.  We'll see.

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At this point, I think I can officially declare this one a flop.  Barely over 200 votes at Lit, and didn't even break 10k views.  That is beyond pitiful in the Mature category.  I've done that well in Sci-Fi&Fantasy before with Sylph Esteem.

 

It only did passingly well at SOL by recent standards.  The score is a notch or two up and the downloads are favorable, but the vote count is a little low for what I would expect.

 

I know they can't all be winners, but the difference between this one and even my worst performing Mature story at Lit is stark.  At best, it's a third of the stats.

 

Oh well.  Guess I'll see what happens with the next one.

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  • 6 months later...

That's one of the hallmarks of the RR stories — an opening for continuations. They don't typically happen, but the threads are always there.

Glad you enjoyed it.  I like it, but it obviously didn't do much for most of my readership.
 
It could very well be my abysmal production rate lately, though.  I'm barely getting anything finished, and my name has probably fallen off everyone's radar.
  
I've even debated posting all my website-only stories to the story sites so they'll always be available and shutting this place down a couple of times.  Haven't reached that point yet, but I'm in a horrific slump for certain.

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